Hulu Unveils New 'Pay Per Screw'
Hulu, a website that streams television shows on the internet, has recently unveiled a new service called “Hulu Plus”, which, for $7.95 per month, offers consumers nothing more than the same old, tired and crusty home invasion that the mind-melting “boob tube” has been deceiving and insulting viewers with - at no extra charge - for decades. However, now - unlike HBO and Showtime - Hulu is demanding that they be paid double, in cash, for doing little more than stinking-up the scenery with fetid piles of capricious, commercial crap. What is remarkable is that the site still insists that their content is only saddled with “limited commercial interruptions”. However, the current levels of advertising being tolerated by the average consumer are near ten times what they were just 30 years ago. And, while it may appear to some people that 12 to 15 ridiculous commercials per program is modest, or at least tolerable, the fact is that the entertainment value of programs containing this level of unsolicited false claims, insults and empty promises, is dwarfed by the cost of having one’s mind hijacked by creepy ads performed by actors that are, let’s face it, becoming increasingly detached from reality as they delve deeper and deeper into the psy-op in exchange for some filthy cab fare. Fortunately, the site offers a free one-week trial, which is all any logically discerning, and intelligent, consumer needs to convince them to cancel the service, given the fact that the amount of “ad-gravation” injected into just one of Hulu’s streams is on par with that caused by a snoring, prison cell-mate afflicted with a deviated septum, who talks like Woody Allen but eats like Homer Simpson, and has the paint-peeling, persistent flatulence to prove it. However, the critical question is, just how does Hulu intend to survive in a free market, when the site is not offering consumers anything they can’t already get for free? The truth is that the numbers just don’t add-up. Maintaining a website which charges viewers to watch commercial-interrupted content, in today’s market, does not in any way resemble a sustainable venture. Therefore, one cannot help but wonder just what kind of exclusionary affiliations and predatory programming deals Hulu, and other sites like it, are concocting with those who produce the sitcoms and movies they stream. Unfortunately, it appears that Hulu is partial to taking the “Bank of America approach” to consumerism, wherein they are attempting to force their customers into a box, and then demanding a fee to let them out.
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