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There is an article on MSN, Mind your manners...your waiter is watching, that is one of the most appalling and petty articles I have seen in a long time and it goes incredibly far in attempting to present vengeful and unsanitary practices as credible or forgivable acts.

First of all, this author has over ten years of experience as a waiter and gourmet cook and chef, in various restaurants across the United States, and has seen nearly every type of food service scenario there is to be seen. What is critical to note is that there has never been even one reason to belittle or demoralize any guest, nor detract from the guaranteed service of anyone that ever entered whatever establishment I may have been employed by at the time.

The only irritation elicited by any diner, was an occasional desire to complain to other servers after getting stiffed or poorly compensated for attentive and expedient service. This is, of course, once the guest had left, however, that is not to say this isn’t one of the more important issues of the job that needs to be addressed and solved because nobody expects to work and then not get paid (or get underpaid), no matter who may, or may not, end up covering the inequity in some irrespective, yet relative manner that can never be trusted.

The truth is that the most difficult part of being a waiter was the staff. One must find reason to tolerate, on a daily basis, and in a very personal way, the various servers and management of whatever restaurant one will either have to eventually quit or just get fired from. The main reason is because the bulk of servers are petty, malicious niggling malcontents that constantly denigrate their guests behind their backs with meaningless verbal diatribes and trivial social hatreds which make the job nearly insufferable. Cooks and chefs have large egos and other mental maladies, but that is another article.

Cliques among front of the house staff are the norm in the restaurant business, and a covert mentality is pervasive at the management and supervisory levels. This creates a competition for cash that is brown nosed based, and abusive in a nefariously compensatory manner.

In addition to this bloodlust, is the fact that most people negatively stigmatize service by associating it with snobbery. So somebody snaps their fingers at a waiter. What right does that waiter have to take any offense? He is getting paid, and many times very well. The truth is that any person paying for the service of a meal has every right to be demanding and selective. Demanding and discerning patrons are the types of guests a great waiter will prefer, and they are generally amazing tipper’s. Some guests at restaurants have snapped their fingers at their waitperson simply because it was necessary for the situation, and the server got pissed off and spit in the food, then took a break and let it get old before serving it. One server spit in every order of a restaurant’s signature fresh lemonade for a party of twelve because he did not like having to make them, even though he got a great tip. A complaint was made to the management, and they did nothing…NOTHING!

For waiters and waitresses to be offended by, or judgmental of, guests accord to their idiosyncrasy’s or behaviors is illogical and unacceptable. People go out to eat for predominantly one reason; to feel special. Unfortunately there are so many people in this world who feel inferior or superior depending on their environment, and while these feelings may be delusional, they are common and pervasive within the societies. There are certainly ways to heal the many broken hearts and fearful hatreds that manifest such divisive behaviors in this world. Spitting in people’s food, humiliating them for their frailties and treating them like crap certainly are none of them.

A man having dinner with his wife, after waiting nearly an hour for their meal (the grand opening of a new restaurant), began cussing at me. I smiled and said “damn, let me see what I can do”. There was no offense on my part. It was not my fault personally, but then that is irrelevant. The only thing I could hear was “I am hungry, tired and my meal is taking too long”. Many waiters and waitresses have asked, “how do you do it?“. It is the waiter’s job to get the meal on the table in a reasonable amount of time for the atmosphere and person involved. If that server is not able to do that, or there is a problem, that server is the only agent the guest knows and the only person for them to vent on. For a server to take things personal is unprofessional and indicative of a small minded individual who has not the tolerance to see the humanity in those around them.

This is also relative in the customer service arena of any company, and it is unconscionable for a customer service representative to claim “its not me” when a customer on the phone say’s “you charged me too much” or “you screwed up the order”. For the customer service representative to take it personal, and then verbally state that fact, is nothing short of an evasive tactic to confuse the issue, and may very well be intentionally employed by customer service representative training programs…but I digress.

It makes no sense whatsoever to be anything less than professional in any service capacity. Moreover, no witness to, nor agent of, any establishment has the right to act in a personal way toward any guest nor customer, nor take personal offense to any behaviors by them. The only exceptions being the inappropriate activities of abusive persons, and not only do all major bars and restaurants have a manager (or three) on duty to deal with these guests, there are explicit laws which protect everyone involved. Poor and abusive behavior by the staff of any establishment is vehement and unnecessary, and to practice it in any way is corrosive to the very nature of SERVICE.